What Is School Refusal?
Many parents remember the moment they realise their child’s struggle is more than just ordinary school reluctance.
Your child may say they feel sick every morning. They may cry, freeze, panic, hide, get angry, plead, or shut down. You may have tried reassuring them, using routine charts, offering rewards, setting consequences, earlier bedtimes, firmer boundaries, gentle talks, meeting with teachers, seeing the GP or a psychologist, and sending many emails to the school.
Still, school does not happen.
School refusal is not a diagnosis. Rather, it is a pattern of school attendance difficulties in which attending or remaining at school is associated with significant emotional distress. Although there is no universally agreed-upon definition, most descriptions emphasise that school refusal involves a young person being unable to attend school because of a severe negative emotional reaction associated with school.1
School Refusal | Truancy | Withdrawal | Exclusion
![Sitting School Refusal](https://berengarra.vic.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/1_Knees-up-head-down.png")
School refusal is often misunderstood because all absences look the same on the school roll. A child is either marked present or absent. However, the reason for the absence matters.
School refusal is just one type of school attendance difficulty. In truancy, a student is absent without permission and often conceals the absence from their parents. In school withdrawal, parental factors play a central role, such as when parents keep a child home and do not actively pursue attendance. In school exclusion, the absence results from school-based decisions, such as disciplinary measures, resourcing decisions, or other barriers to participation.2
In school refusal, the absence is usually connected to emotional distress. Parents are typically aware of what is happening and have often made repeated efforts to help their child attend. This is very different from secrecy, indifference, or deliberate misbehaviour.3
Understanding this distinction between school refusal and other types of absences is important. If school refusal is mistaken for truancy or defiance, responses are more likely to focus on compliance and consequences. If it is understood as a sign of distress, adults are more likely to focus on identifying barriers, reducing stress, and helping the child reconnect with learning.
Why Many Families Say “School Can’t”
The term “school refusal” is still widely used in research, government reports, and education systems.
Changing the language is about more than words. The term “refusal” can lead adults to ask, “How do we make this child go to school?” By contrast, the term “School Can’t” encourages a different question: “What is making school feel impossible right now, and what support or changes might help?4“
This perspective encourages adults to look beyond behaviour and explore barriers causing a child’s distress. It emphasises understanding causes, providing supports, and collaborating with the child and family. This approach aligns with trauma-informed, inclusive strategies for school attendance, focusing on understanding the child’s experience and coordinating with families, schools, and health professionals to identify needed support.5
What School Can’t Looks Like
School Can’t does not always begin with a child completely dropping out of school. It can develop gradually over time. A child who once attended school without difficulty may begin to complain of headaches or stomach-aches, becoming distressed before school, arriving late, missing occasional days, or finding it increasingly difficult to get through the school week.6
School Can’t can look very different from one child to another. Some children continue attending school but struggle to engage in learning, complete work, or cope with the demands of the day. Others may attend only part-time or only under certain conditions, such as with a particular teacher, in a specific environment, or for a limited period. For some children, school attendance becomes impossible altogether.7
The key thing to remember is that School Can’t looks different for every child. It exists on a spectrum and can affect children and young people in different ways. What they have in common is that attending school has become associated with significant distress.8
Why Does School Can’t Happen?
School Can’t is rarely caused by a single issue. More often, it develops through a combination of factors that make attending school increasingly difficult or distressing for a young person. These factors can relate to the child themselves, their family circumstances, their school environment, their health, or a combination of these influences.9
Some children experience anxiety, depression, learning difficulties, sensory sensitivities, social challenges, chronic health conditions, or difficulties with emotional regulation. Research has found that students experiencing mental health challenges are more likely to have lower school attendance than their peers.10 School Can’t is also more common among neurodivergent students and students with disability, although it can affect any child or young person.11
Many teachers and school leaders want to help. However, school environments can contain stressors that adults may not immediately recognise. For some children, large and busy school settings can feel overwhelming, especially when combined with noise, crowds, social pressures, fear of making mistakes, bullying, sudden changes to routines, academic demands, sensory overload, masking, uncomfortable uniforms, or feeling unsafe or misunderstood at school.12
Often, a child manages these challenges for months or years before several pressures build at once. Academic demands, friendship difficulties, changing schools, illness, family stress, or an environment that does not meet a child’s needs can combine to overwhelm their ability to cope.13
For this reason, it is often more helpful to ask, “What is happening for this child?” than “What is wrong with this child?” Understanding the factors contributing to a young person’s distress is an important first step towards identifying the support they need.14
Anxiety, Neurodivergence, and Burnout
Many children experiencing School Can’t also experience anxiety. However, anxiety should not be seen as a simple explanation that can place all responsibility on the child.
For some children, particularly neurodivergent children, school can require an enormous amount of effort. They may be managing sensory overload, navigating complex social expectations, coping with uncertainty and change, suppressing distress, or working hard to meet expectations in an environment that does not fully meet their needs. Over time, this constant effort can become exhausting and, for some young people, contribute to burnout.15
When this happens, the issue is not that a child does not value education or does not want to learn. Rather, they may no longer have the capacity to cope with the demands being placed on them.16
Early identification and support are important. Difficulties associated with autism, ADHD, anxiety disorders, specific learning disorders, and other forms of neurodivergence are not always recognised early, which can delay access to appropriate support and adjustments.17 This is why it is important to understand each child’s individual experience. For some students, a standard attendance plan may not be enough. They may need adjustments that address the barriers contributing to their distress, rather than increased pressure to attend.18
Why Shame Makes School Can’t Worse
Shame often surrounds School Can’t. Parents may feel judged by schools, family members, workplaces, and even health professionals. Children and young people may feel as though they are failing at something that seems easy for everyone else.19
When families feel blamed or misunderstood, they may become reluctant to ask for help or speak openly about what is happening. Shame can increase isolation, affect mental health and wellbeing, and make it harder for families to access support when they need it most.20
A caring response begins by recognising that the child’s distress is real, even when the reasons are not immediately obvious. Rather than asking, “How do we make this child attend?”, it can be more helpful to ask, “What is making school feel so difficult, and what support might help?21“
Why “Just Make Them Go” Can Be Harmful
Many parents are told to be stricter. Some are advised to take away privileges, force their child into the car, make the home less comfortable, or focus on consequences. These approaches can seem reasonable if the problem is viewed as bad behaviour. However, if a child is experiencing significant distress, increasing pressure may increase fear, damage trust, and make school attendance even more difficult.22
This does not mean attendance is unimportant. Education, connection, routine, and belonging matter deeply. Long periods away from school can affect learning, friendships, wellbeing, and future educational opportunities.23
The challenge is that focusing only on attendance can overlook a child’s mental health, sense of safety, and capacity to cope. A child who feels overwhelmed may need support to reduce distress before they can successfully increase attendance.24
Research and lived experience suggest that responses based solely on pressure, punishment, or compliance are often less effective than approaches that seek to understand the reasons behind the distress.25
What Helps?
An unhelpful starting point is to ask, “How do we make this child attend?” Instead, ask, “What is the smallest safe step towards connection, learning, and building capacity?”
This means finding out what is making school feel unsafe, overwhelming, inaccessible, or unsustainable for this child, in this family, at this school, at this point in time.26 When adults can help identify barriers and provide appropriate supports, children are more likely to feel understood and better able to engage with learning.27
Support looks different for every child. Depending on their needs, it may include an adjusted workload or assessments, flexible participation, sensory and environmental adjustments, timetable changes, safe spaces, or alternative ways to access learning.28 Relationships matter. Supportive student–teacher relationships have been associated with lower school burnout and stronger academic outcomes.29
Collaboration also matters. Schools are often the first to notice changes in attendance or wellbeing, while health professionals can help identify factors contributing to distress and recommend appropriate adjustments. Working together with the child and family can help create a more consistent and supportive response.30
Re-engagement Is Not Always a Straight Line
Parents often hope for a simple plan to return to school: start on Monday, add more days, and gradually get back to normal. Sometimes this works, but often it does not.
Re-engagement is not always measured by full-day attendance. It may begin with small signs of connection and participation, such as leaving the bedroom, talking to a friend again, speaking to a trusted teacher online, visiting the school after hours, attending a single lesson, or completing some schoolwork from home. These steps may look small to others, but they can be meaningful achievements for a child who feels overwhelmed or unsafe attending school.
Research suggests that progress should not be measured by attendance alone. Emotional wellbeing, confidence, social connection, functioning, and a young person’s sense of safety are also important indicators of progress.31
The path back to education is rarely a straight line. Progress may involve setbacks, pauses, and periods of slower growth. What matters is not whether a child returns to school immediately, but whether they are gradually rebuilding their capacity to engage, learn, connect, and participate in education in safe, sustainable ways.32
The Impact on Families
School Can’t affects the whole family. The impact often extends far beyond school attendance, affecting family routines, relationships, wellbeing, finances, and employment.33
In everyday life, this can mean mornings becoming a source of stress and uncertainty. Family routines may revolve around appointments, school communications, wellbeing concerns, and attempts to support attendance. Parents often find themselves balancing work, advocacy, caregiving, and emotional support, while siblings may also be affected by the pressures on the family.34
Many families describe feeling isolated and misunderstood. Because school attendance is often viewed as a simple expectation, parents can feel judged for circumstances that are largely invisible to others.35
At the centre of these experiences is a child or young person who is struggling. Supporting that child requires patience, compassion, safety, belonging, and a willingness to understand the reasons behind their distress rather than focusing only on attendance.36
When children see the impact their difficulties have on their family, it can intensify their own feelings of guilt, shame, or failure. Yet most young people experiencing School Can’t still want to learn, have friends, succeed, and build a future. The challenge is not a lack of desire. Rather, school has become something that feels overwhelming, out of reach, or unsafe.37
When to Seek Help
Seek help early if your child’s distress is increasing, they are missing more school, physical symptoms keep returning, or conversations about school are becoming more difficult. School Can’t is often complex and may require coordinated support from families, schools, and health professionals.38
Depending on your child’s needs, support may involve a GP, psychologist, paediatrician, psychiatrist, occupational therapist, speech pathologist, school wellbeing staff, disability support staff, or an advocate familiar with school attendance difficulties.
If your child talks about self-harm, suicide, or not wanting to live, treat it as urgent. In Australia, call 000 if there is immediate danger. For crisis support, adults can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, and children and young people aged 5 to 25 can contact Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
One of the challenges facing many families is that support often arrives too late. The earlier difficulties are recognised and addressed, the easier it is to provide support before distress escalates and school attendance becomes harder to rebuild.39
A Final Word for Parents
School refusal, or School Can’t, can feel scary, exhausting, and isolating. It can make you question your parenting, worry about your child’s future, and doubt the decisions you are making. But one message emerges consistently from the research and the experiences of families: this is real, it is complex, and blaming yourself or your child does not help.40
Your child needs adults who are willing to look beyond behaviour and ask what might be driving their distress. You need support, understanding, and practical help, not judgment. Schools, families, health professionals, and support services all have a role to play in helping young people reconnect with learning.41
The goal is not simply to achieve perfect attendance. The first priority is safety, connection, understanding, and rebuilding capacity. When children feel safe, supported, and understood, they are in a much better position to engage with learning and take the next steps forward.42
Frequently Asked Questions
If there is an immediate risk of harm, call 000 or your local emergency service.
References
Australian Government Department of Education. (2024). Australian Government response to the Senate Standing Committees on Education and Employment report: The national trend of school refusal and related matters.
Benoit, L., Chan Sock Peng, E., Flouriot, J. et al. (2024). Trajectories of school refusal: sequence analysis using retrospective parent reports. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 33, 3849–3859.
Clark, S. (2023). School refusal. Australian Parliamentary Library Research Paper Series, 2022–23. Parliament of Australia.
Cleary, M., West, S., McLean, L., Johnston-Devin, C., Kornhaber, R., & Hungerford, C. (2024). When the education system and autism collide. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 45(5), 468–476.
Heyne, D., Strömbeck, J., Alanko, K., & Bergström, M. (2020). A scoping review of constructs measured following intervention for school refusal. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, Article 1744.
Lawrence, D., Dawson, V., Houghton, S., Goodsell, B., & Sawyer, M. G. (2019). Impact of mental disorders on attendance at school. Australian Journal of Education, 63(1), 5–21.
Leduc, K., Tougas, A. M., Robert, V., & Boulanger, C. (2024). School Refusal in Youth: A Systematic Review of Ecological Factors. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 55(4), 1044–1062.
Lindfors, P., Minkkinen, J., Rimpelä, A., & Hotulainen, R. (2018). Family and school social capital, school burnout and academic achievement. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 23(3), 368–381.
School Can’t Australia. (n.d.). School Can’t Australia: Frequently Asked Questions.
School Can’t Australia. (2023). Parent perspectives on school can’t: Implications for health, welfare, disability and education. Submission 76 to the Senate inquiry.
Senate Education and Employment References Committee. (2023). The national trend of school refusal and related matters. Parliament of Australia.